Superman: So sue me, it’s October, I’d like to live on island time for a day! Cut me some slack!
Batman: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you?
Batman: Do you want me to put you on blast, ‘cause I got your history, right here in the sidebar: ‘Take it Back’ by Jimmy Buffett, ‘Nautical Wheelers’ by Jimmy Buffett, ‘Jolly Mon Sing’ by Jimmy Buffett, ‘Steamer’ by Jimmy Buffett…
Batman, getting increasingly more agitated: ‘Treat Her Like a Lady’ by Jimmy Buffett’, ‘Mañana’ by JIMMY BUFFETT, ‘WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUM’ BY JAMES BUFFETT-
Superman:
Batman: …and ‘Havana Daydreaming’ by Jimmy Buffett. What the FCK* happened to you? Are you haunted? Are you f*cking possessed?
Superman, squeakily: I had a case of the Mondays!
oml seriously you need to make some kind of series or fanwork of some kind
Omg thank you I do feel that in the name of full transparency I should disclose I use incorrect quote generators sometimes
yeah, but i’ve also seen your stuff in other threads
you do come up with some genuinely funny stuff
Thank you!! 
Clark Kent, preparing for Shabbat, emerging from the kitchen covered in flour: Shabbat Shalom, love of my life, there is a slight possibility I overdid it with the challah this time
Lois: did you-
Clark Kent: try to cook it with my heat vision, yes
Booster Gold: What did I tell you?! 87 Miles per hour! HaHa!
Blue Beetle: Oh (bleep) You disagrated Edison!
Booster Gold: Calm down Blue Beetle, I didn’t disagrated him. He’s fine.
Blue Beetle: Then where the heck are they?!
Booster Gold: The real question is, ‘when’ are they? Watch out!
Jimmy Buffet is a national treasure 
Hal: whoa Ollie that’s a pretty wacky trick arrow! What’s that one do?
Ollie: It’s a bong, Jordan
Barry : The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Hal .
Dick and Jason hanging out in the Wayne Manor kitchen after a late night mission
Dick: “So, do you ever wonder about what your future spouse is currently doing right now?”
Jason: “I dunno, let’s see. HEY BABE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”
Me, from upstairs: “I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!”
Jason: “OKAY! Yeah, she’s sleeping bro.”
Dick:
(I couldn’t help it)
i was blessed with this by an incorrect quotes generator
Bernard : I’m in love with you.
Tim : We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Bernard : I know.
Tim : Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-
also from an incorrect quotes generator
Tim and Bernard are in Paris.
Tim : I’m…moved. I…I don’t know what it is I’m feeling right now. I feel…destiny?
Bernard : But…
Tim : I don’t know what it is. I feel like… I just never thought I’d see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It’s just there. It’s right in front of me, and…
Bernard : This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?
Tim : Yeah.
Bernard : But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.
Tim : Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.
Bernard : Okay, alright.
im gonna cry 
Bernard : I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Tim : Wow. They sound stupid.
Bernard : But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Tim : Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Bernard : I guess you’re right. Hey Tim , I love you.
Tim : See! Just say that!
Bernard : Holy ■■■■■■■ ■■■■.
Tim : If that flies over their head then, sorry Bernard , but they’re too dumb for you.
Bernard : Tim .
tim : I fell—
kon : From heaven?
tim : No, I literally fell—
kon : In love with me the moment you saw me?
tim : MY ARM IS BROKEN!
kon : Okay, but do you think I’m pretty? Be honest.
Tim : We have a problem.
Bernard : No, YOU have a problem. I have a boyfriend who keeps making them.
Tim : You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Bernard : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Tim : I said within reason, Bernard . How about I murder that guy?
Bernard : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn’t?
Tim : Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
kon : tim is playing hard to get.
kon : Little does he know, I’m a master at playing hard to get rid of.
Bernard : Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.
Tim : Oh. We’re going out?
Bernard : Wh…