Justice League Incorrect Quotes

Hal Jordan, rolling into the Watchtower in his heelys, wearing aviators and sipping an iced latte: Sorry I’m late, I don’t want to be here

6 Likes

Kon : Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.
Kon: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.
Tim : What the f*** kind of pep talk is that?
Kon: Ominous positivity.

4 Likes

dick: Wake me up-
tim: Before you go go
damian: When September ends
jason: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

8 Likes

Bruce Wayne: This Look like a job for Batman!
Batman: Up, up & away!

6 Likes

I say that all the time. So does Robin.

5 Likes

Superman: I am the light, I am the hope, I am Superman!

7 Likes

bart: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

tim: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

kon: A realist sees a freight train.

cassie: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

4 Likes

tim: Your smile? It makes my day.

kon: Your happiness? I live for that.

cassie: A room? Get one.

bart: Hotel? Trivago.

3 Likes

damian, setting down a card: Ace of spades.

jason, pulling out an Uno card: +4.

tim, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!

dick, trembling: What are we playing?!

3 Likes

one more.

tim: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?

dick: Strong.

jason: Weak.

damian: An idiot, is what you are.

4 Likes

Superman: How can you just… not care?

Batman: Like this. shrugs

(I personally vibe with Bats on this one)

6 Likes

Ollie: Hey, Superman, I’m starting a justice league union, and if you have a problem with that-
Clark: Hey, that’s a fantastic idea!
Ollie: Come again?
Clark: Gosh, I’m a little embarrassed I didn’t think of it myself
Ollie: . . .
Clark: You know, my Pa was a union organizer back in the day, and if you want I can ask him for some advice. So what’s your agenda? I have a few things I want to add-
Ollie: Clark I’m gonna level with you I fully assumed you were a republican
Clark: Oliver I am a refugee immigrant journalist in a major American city and my greatest nemesis is an evil wealthy businessman.
Ollie:
Clark: Looking forward to working with you, comrade

5 Likes

The Riddler: You know, Batman, this is a really vulnerable moment for me, and I just feel like you’re not really nurturing my healing journey.
Batman: Robbing a bank is not self-care

4 Likes

Wonder Woman: I want to bring peace and love to man’s world.
Guy: Yeah, baby! Bring some of that love to this man, sweetheart!
Wonder Woman: snaps guy’s neck

7 Likes

When I wrote “Guy” I just meant a random guy, but giving it further thought it still works.

7 Likes

How about snap his chest cavity

3 Likes

The Dark Knight
@MatthewHecht: Don’t let me catch you out here again!
@Reaganfan78: What gives you the right? What’s the difference between us?
@MatthewHecht: I’m not the one with Football pads!

(Later)
Penguin: Waugh, Waugh, Waugh, Waugh, Waugh, waugh, and I thought my smoking was bad.
Gimbal: Give me a reason why we shouldn’t blow your hat off?!
Penguin: How about a magic trick, I can make the umbrella disappear, (Slam a guy top of his umbrella) Ta-Da! Now it’s gone. If you want to know who bought this blue/purple suit, you did.
@Vroom: Let’s just hear him out.
Penguin: Let’s rewind the clock a bit, these cops and @moderators wouldn’t dare touch any of you, what happen, did the block of icecube fall off and knock you out? So this is simple, kill the Batman.
@Vroom: If it’s so simple, why don’t you do it?
Penguin: If You’re good at something, never do it for free.
Gimbal: Enough from the bird! Think I’ll just let you waddle away?
Penguin: Let’s not blow this out of proportion, if you want to hear more, here’s my card. (Holding a Penguin bomb and leave.)
@Vroom: You know, this could’ve gone alot better with a clown.

The End.

:penguin:

3 Likes

Tim: Hey, would you guys be there for me if I was going through something.

Dick: Nope.
Jason: Nope.
Damian: Absolutely not.

(laughing)

Dick: I hope it sucks, whatever you’re going through.

Jason: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Damian: I can’t wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could have changed that outcome.

(Everyone laughing and wheezing)

7 Likes

Atom: Bruce what are you doing in Ivy Town?

Batman: trying to stop your comic from being cancelled

6 Likes

(Yeah I know secret identity but just roll with me)

Clark, officiating Bruce and Selina’s wedding: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two in. . .
Bruce: go on
Clark (long, deep sigh): . . . in holy batrimony

8 Likes