Bernard : Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Tim : I wrote you a poem.
Bernard , already crying: You did?
4 Likes
Tim , sweating: Bernard , there’s something I need to ask you-
Bernard : Finally! You’re proposing!
Tim : How’d you know?
Bernard : Tim , you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.
Bernard : I even picked it up once
4 Likes
Kyle: What are you writing?
Hal: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I’m letting them know it’s private information.
John, looking over Hal’s shoulder: This just says ‘f*** around and find out’ in calligraphy.
5 Likes
Hal: Hey Guy, do you wanna help us?
Guy: Oh, I would… but I don’t want to.
5 Likes
Hal: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material.
Kyle: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.
5 Likes
Hal, to Johh: If Guy doesn’t say “I’m King of the world” within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.
Guy, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I’M KING OF THE WORLD!!!
5 Likes
tim : I don’t need to go to bed. I’m not tired, I’ll be fine.
bernard : But, babe, I’ll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
tim : O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
bernard : Is it working?
4 Likes
bruce: Where’s clark, barry, and diana?
hal: They’re playing hide and seek.
bruce: Where?
hal: I don’t think you get how this game works.
5 Likes
Hal arrives in the satellite after the events of JLA #110 in 1973…
Hal: What did I miss?
Bruce: Where were you?
Hal: uhhhh
Dinah: The Key tried to kill Santa Claus
Ollie: John Stewart had your ring and helped out
Hal: that’s good, I uhhhh…
Hal’s Ring: The Green Lantern of Sector 2814 was incapacitated earlier when he fell in the bathtub
JLA: BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
yes it happened…
4 Likes
Nightwing: Easy Ms. I’ve got you.
Barbara Gordon: You got me? Who got you?!
4 Likes
Hal: I think my guardian angel drinks.
3 Likes
Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut?
Bruce: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.
5 Likes
Hal: I’m gonna get my cosmetology license. I’ve already got a driver’s license and a pilot’s license, that’s two of the big five licenses.
Ollie: The big five licenses?
Diana: Driver’s license, cosmetology license, pilot’s license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can’t wait to get that one.
4 Likes
that sounds like something dick would say tbh 
3 Likes
(probably during wayne family adventures #1)
Damian: Would you like something to drink? They open the fridge We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-
Duke: Spiders?
Damian: Spiders it is then.
Duke: No, that wasn’t-
Damian pours Duke a tall glass of spiders
thank you, incorrect quotes genarator
3 Likes
Tim: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE??
Bernard: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially
Tim, desperately, as Bernard bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Bernard: Oh! B positive.
Tim: DON’T TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Bernard:
also a generated quote
it’s perfect
5 Likes
Jason: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Dick: I think you mean cards.
Jason , pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.
4 Likes
Dick: I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?
Tim: Oh, I’m always running
Tim: The question is from what
3 Likes
Dick: Oh just so you know, it’s very muggy outside
Bruce:
Bruce: Dick, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn…
Dick: * Sips coffee from bowl*
3 Likes
Dick: Everyone synchronise your watches.
Jason: I don’t know how to do that.
Damian : I don’t wear a watch.
Tim: Time is a construct.
4 Likes