The Truth About Darkseid

[anon52107441]

@biff_pow, I have it on good authority that Darkseid as you know him doesn’t exist.
He is actually the robot suit of a far more adorable, far less intimidating being:

[biff_pow]

hey, i agree with you! darkseid calls himself Creampuff because he can’t say “profiterole” without slobbering on himself like sylvester the cat

[DeSade-acolyte]

I have to give DC credit, Batman and baby Darkseid was awesome. One can be cute and lethal. Look at Harley Quinn, as just one such example.

[biff_pow]

why are you telling me? tell Anonymous!

[anon52107441]

I heard from a guy that you know somebody who once hooked up with a gal that has a dog that once licked a kid who saw a person who had a conversation with someone who met Anonymous. I figured you could tell him.

[biff_pow]

well that’s true

[anon52107441]

Glad it is. I heard that info 13th hand from a parrot.

[DeSade-acolyte]

@biff_pow

hey, i agree with you! darkseid calls himself Creampuff because he can’t say “profiterole” without slobbering on himself like sylvester the cat

Since none of the phonemes making up “profiterole” have no resemblance to the spit filled phonemes that Sylvester lashes out moisture with. I say thee “Nay. Circle does not get the square. You have to earn that yourself.”

[capo-mage]

I was literally going to make a thread saying the same exact thing. I think @biff_pow may hold the key to curing my depression.

[BatJamags]

Which means it’s especially impressive that Darkseid still can’t pronounce it.

[DeSade-acolyte]

Given his ability to pronounce “the anti-life equation”, “profiterole” is a simple pronunciation he is more than capable of.

[biff_pow]

@TheBatgirlofNML

Is that… no, a fruit tray?!

LATE BREAKING NEWS: sources have confirmed that Darkseid exclusively eats baby carrots because he’s been clinically diagnosed with karotophobia, fear of standard carrots; however my sources differ on why. According to reports, it’s either because he’s afraid they attract rabbits, of which he is terrified, or because their orange color reminds him of, quote, “spooky jack o’ lanterns”

(Dramatization)

[biff_pow]

Where have I seen this expression before…

[biff_pow]

Or was it…

[biff_pow]

just saw darkseid at the hardware store

he was having trouble deciding between this

and this

[biff_pow]

an anonymous source who goes by the name @TheWolverineofNML, don’t read that, just delivered this bombshell

[TheBatgirlofNML]

@biff_pow

anonymous source who goes by the name @TheWolverineofNML

@biff_pow

anonymous

You keep using that word.

[biff_pow]

@biff_pow

don’t read that

aHEM

[biff_pow]

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Darkseid fought a toddler? Wonder no more!

[Applejack]

Awww, my favorite topic was necro’d! The truth about Darkseid must be known!