Jimmy: Hey, Clark, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?
Clark: Yeah.
Jimmy: And you, Lois?
Lois: Umm… yes?
Jimmy: Great! Because I’m not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!
Lois: Did they just-
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Guy Gardener: Stop trying to make “Wowzer” happen, Booster, ITS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN
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again
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Morning at The Justice League Watchtower. Hal Jordan is in the kitchen making pancakes when Ollie walks in
Ollie: Hey Hal.
Hal:
Ollie: Are you still mad at me?
Hal:
Hal, passing over a plate with pancakes with a frowny face drawn on with blueberries: >:(
Ollie: okay message received.
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Jason tries to use the JLA teleporter, exits a tube in Tierra del Fuego with computerized Hawkman going
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The Guardians: Lantern Jordan, this is literally physically impossible, if you try this, you will 100% die
Hal: Dully noted but that’s your opinion, don’t tell me how to do my job
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John: Are you this rude to everyone?!
Guy: Yup.
Guy: Don’t think you’re special.
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Kyle: Nice rock.
John: Thanks, Guy gave it to me.
Guy: I threw it at you!
John: Aren’t they the sweetest?
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Hal: Oh, my God. Do you know what this is?
John: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library.
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Hal: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?
Guy: Actually, it’s not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It’s just that you LOOK for things when you need them.
Hal: Okay yeah thanks Guy, that’s great but WHERE’S THE F***ING FIRST AID KIT?
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Simon: I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Kyle.
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Guardians: I’m going to ask you to be respectful
Hal: And I am going to politely decline
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Simon: The ‘how the f***s’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.
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Guy: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth
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Simon: My life is a mess.
Guy: Simon relax, go get a beer.
Simon: I don’t want a beer.
Guy Who said it was for you?
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oh god i actually do that lmao
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That is the best quote I have ever heard! I don’t even care if it’s fake!
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Repost but it’s still perfect
Superman: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Hawkgirl: Self-esteem, haven’t seen you in years!
Batman: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Flash: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Green Lantern: My moral code, is that you?
Superman:
Superman: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
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