But the stories you are describing are no longer the kinds of stories that appeal to the wider audience of comics. Maybe you could argue that these kinds of stories appeal to a wider audience, but I don’t think so. That kind of brutal content tends to have a small, die hard fandom, not a big, mainstream one.
Join me! 
I would like to point out that none of the batfamily is dead in your storyline
I am not against the batfamily being hurt even for a long time overcoming hardship does make for a good story but they can not overcome if there dead
Well everybody elses existince got earsed from everybodies memories after they Brutlely died (expect Bluebird and Duke they died of sadness because everybody forgot about them).
lol 
Braindead is also legally considered dead in some states
but in comic tis but a scratch
True
I’ve reduced the family to characters that have served a greater familial function to Bruce beyond the cowl. Some characters, like Stephanie (also good version), would be more “friends of the family”–kind of on the outskirts, more close to Cass, Babs and Tim than Bruce himself. I haven’t read much of Duke, but he could fit in this category as well. They’d still work with Batman, their appearances more or less unaffected by the aforementioned list. See also: Batwing, Harold, Bat Cow, ect…
Harper, on the other hand (who I don’t consider being in the family in any capacity, ever), was incinerated when she walked into a burning building and demanded the fire put itself out in recognition of the amazing and groundbreaking way she clips her toenails, claiming it’s an example of how she’s more super awesome than everyone else.
I don’t think harper counts as a batfamily member ether but she should have been one
the whole sorry I couldn’t adopt you because someone wanted me to adopt you was so stupid and unbatman like everyone knows batman would have adopted her no matter what because he adopts anything that moves
First off… I am all for expanding the Bat family to JSA-like levels. But if I have to have only eight:
Dick Grayson
Barbara Gordon
Stephanie Brown
Renee Montoya
Tim Drake
Cassandra Cain
Selina Kyle
Jason Todd
Eh, she doesn’t really serve a purpose to Bruce or the overall team other than, “look at me, I’m complimenting myself!” She never really stood out uniquely as anything more than an arrogant self-promoter backed by very–very flimsy writing.
Which I wouldn’t have minded so much, had other characters not been dumbed down/reinvented to practically be her subordinates.
my biggest issue with her is how they had batman break her nose and not adopt her because the bad guy wanted him two it makes him look real bad and it gives her a reason not to ever be around the batfamily she was rejected she is not a part of that family in any way and every time I see her all I can think about is how bad they wrote batman with her
The thing is, “Batman & Robin Eternal” was a huge retcon for Harper, which was actually kinda easy because a lot of details about her childhood had not been explored. She was an adept electrician/techie whose Mom died because Gotham, her Dad is in jail.
Then along comes B&RE: Making her a “predestined and greatest-ever Robin”, a “perfect” potential sidekick", her Mom killed by the unfinished and less interesting clone of Cassandra Cain–all of it was purely for this story, as means of telling the reader “she’s important, trust us”. None of that was planned when she was first created, nor in any stories shortly before the Eternal series. Batman breaking her nose because she was imposing herself and he’d just lost his son, had none of the context of a convoluted “mystery” by knock-off Mallory Archer. She wasn’t the “Chosen One” the “Golden Bat-Child”–that was self-indulgence in behalf of, I’m pretty sure, Tynion.
Taking those two stories/incidents as being the in same continuity, I can see how it makes Bats look bad (not to me, because regardless of her tragic backstory, she should always be punched in the face, by everyone, all the time). But it was by no means planned that way when he knocked her through that wooden fence.
thanks that make me feel better about it
also I heard that scott really wanted to use cassandra
not make harper in the first place but dc wouldn’t let him so maybe the punch was him
working out his anger
I mostly agree with this, although I think some characters have had great story arcs that culminate in passing the mantle. Frankly, I thought Barry was a great example of this. He had a big hero send off, was honored, respected, and remembered by the DCU, and had a successful legacy.
As for the Batfamily, I don’t really consider every bat adjacent character as part of it. For example, Jace wears a batsuit, but basically never interacts with the others.
Bruce, Dick, and Babs are the core family to me, dating back to the Batman Family series. Jason, Tim, Damian, Cass, and Steph would round out my top 8. This group interacts a decent amount with teamups and crossovers. I usually enjoy their interactions.
I don’t think other characters need to be zapped from existence; I don’t consider anyone else to really be Batfam already. Kate rarely interacts with this group as it is, the Foxes are kinda doing their own thing now, Duke has a different skill/power set and seems fine with the Outsiders, Selina is mostly just tied to Bruce, Helena is more a Birds of Prey member than Batfam member to me, and other characters are even more adjacent/removed in my mind.
It was either Cass or Steph that Snyder wanted to write, but couldn’t, so created Harper.
Given Row had more similarities to Stephanie when she was introduced, my money would be on her, but I could be wrong.
Steph.
That’s a pretty big reduction. No Alfred?
8 Stephs from the Multiverse then!
My immediate reaction for at least one person to keep.