Welcome to The Incident Report!
As we watch along together we will keep score of all the knockouts and cars ruined in each episode and tally them here.
Check out the Season 2 Watch Party thread here!
So grab your hardhat and make sure your vehicle is insured, because this list is going to get long!
This thread will contain spoilers and discuss the series as a whole.
If you’re looking to be an overworked medical professional or suffer insane amounts of brain trauma with no deleterious effects, then move to Smallville!
Total Knockouts (for every WAL so far): 109
Totals by Season
| Season |
Total |
 |
49 -Complete- |
 |
31 in progress |
 |
TBD |
 |
6 (from holiday event) |
 |
12 (from holiday event) |
 |
TBD |
 |
TBD |
 |
TBD |
 |
11 (from holiday event) |
 |
TBD |
Totals by Character (and how it happened!):
Lex Luthor: 12
Season 1: 8
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E1 Pilot |
Caught as a kid in the meteor shower |
|
Crashes his car into Clark on the bridge |
 E10 Shimmer |
Conked on the head by our ghost |
|
Pushed headfirst into the mansions stone wall |
 E11 |
Clark shoves him into some tires after Lex shot him, a lot. |
 E14 Zero |
Lex is tasered and thrown into a van! |
 E15 Nicodemus |
Clark shoves him into napsville |
 E16 Stray |
Tossed out of a moving limo |
Season 2: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E7 Lineage |
Drugged in his own car! Convertible life gone wrong! |
|
Knocked out while unconscious so he doesn’t see Clark saving his life from the axe murder! |
Season 5: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E5 Thirst |
Knocked out by vampire Lana |
 E9 Lexmas |
Shot in an alley during the opening and spends the majority of the episode in a dream world |
Lana Lang: 13
Season 1: 6
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E2 Metamorphosis |
Cocooned by Greg Arkin aka “Bug Boy” |
 E4 X-Ray |
Tina disguised as Whitney takes her out in the cemetery |
|
Tina puts her in a sarcophagus and she passes out from lack of oxygen |
|
E11 |
Horse gets spooked and throws her off in the creepy woods |
|
E15 Nicodemus |
Passes out from the flower toxin while climbing the windmill |
 E20 Obscura |
Hits the ground hard after a gas line explosion and wakes up seeing through someone else’s eyes! |
Season 2: 4
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E1 Vortex |
Of course she’s unconscious, it’s the season premiere and Clark’s literally saving her from a tornado! |
 E5 Nocturne |
Pushed into the cemetery mausoleum by evil Byron and bonks her head |
 E21 Accelerate |
After Emily Dinsmore pushes her off the bridge |
 E11 Visage |
Tina disguised as Clark shoves her into the wall in the Talon |
Season 4: 1
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E16 Spell |
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
Season 5: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E5 Thirst |
“Killed” by Buffy |
|
Passes out from an anti-vampi-k-vaccine to the heart |
Chloe Sullivan: 9
Season 1: 3
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E13 Kinetic |
Is pushed out a 3rd floor window of the Luthor mansion by our k-tattoo gang of ex-jocks! |
 E19 Crush |
Chloe is hit by a telekinetic horse shoe and falls like a sack of grain onto sacks of grain |
|
E20 Obscura |
She’s found unconscious by Clark after her kidnapper buried her in a metal coffin underground in Chandler’s Field! |
Season 2: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E9 Dichotic |
Hits the pavement when fighting back against Ian who is about to throw her over the dam! |
 E14 Rush |
Happens off screen, when she undergoes surgery to remove the adrenaline junky alien parasite. |
Season 4: 1
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E16 Spell |
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
Season 5: 3
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E5 Thirst |
Bitten into unconsciousness by vampire Lana |
 E14 Tomb |
Sedated at the hospital after sputtering delusions caused by the mummy |
|
Knocked out in the basement by creepy Mikey |
Clark Kent: 9
Season 1: 3
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E3 Hothead |
We’re counting what appears to be a quick faint in the K-sauna |
 E5 Cool |
Clarksicle freezes when going up against Sean Kelvin |
 E12 Leech |
Thrown into a car while powerless |
Season 2: 1
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E14 Rush |
Pete punches Clark into the side of the Talon with a fist full of kryptonite! |
Season 4: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E16 Spell |
The Countess steals all his powers and he’s rendered unconscious |
|
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
Season 5: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E5 Thirst |
Passes out near the K-stalactite meds |
|
E14 Tomb |
K-punched into unconsciousness by creepy Mikey |
Season 9: 1
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E3 Rabid |
Passes out when donating blood with a syringe dipped in liquid K |
Lois Lane: 3
Season 4: 1
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E16 Spell |
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
Season 5: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E14 Tomb |
Taken out at the apartment by creepy Mikey |
|
Knocked out in the basement during the scuffle with Mikey |
Pete Ross: 6
Season 1: 2
| Episode |
How it happened |
 E7 Craving |
Jodi shoves him and he hits the kitchen floor hard |
|
E15 Nicodemus |
Clark knocks some sense into him and stops his flower toxin fueled murder rampage |
Season 2: 4
| Episode |
How it happened |
 E3 Duplicity |
Knocked out by Dr. Hamilton during the scuffle in his barn over the space ship! |
|
E5 Nocturne |
Knowing Clark’s secret sure hurts, this time evil Byron pushes him off the porch and onto a car windshield |
|
E11 Visage |
Tina disguised at Lana throws him head first into the school lockers |
|
E14 Rush |
Happens off screen, when he undergoes surgery to remove the adrenaline junky alien parasite. |
Jonathan Kent: 2
Season 1: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Pilot |
When the truck crashes before meeting Clark |
|
E15 Nicodemus |
Passes out from the flower toxin while raging and accidentally shooting Clark! |
Martha Kent: 3
Season 1: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Pilot |
When the truck crashes before meeting Clark |
 E6 Hourglass |
Crushed by grain in the silo |
Season 2: 1
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Vortex |
Martha is knocked unconscious by the spaceship as it takes off from the storm cellar |
Whitney Fordman: 3
Season 1: 3
| Episode |
How it happened |
|
E2 Metamorphosis |
After his truck flips from Greg |
|
Thrown into a horse stall by Greg |
 E17 Reaper |
Shoved into a sink by the hand of death himself while trying to save his dad from becoming ashes |
Other Characters: 49
Season 1: 20
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Pilot |
Jeremy Creek |
Short circuits from water |
|
E3 Hothead |
Principal Kwan |
Passes out from smoke inhalation when he is trapped in his fireball car by Coach Walt Arnold |
|
E4 X-Ray |
Tina Grier |
Thrown into a gravestone by Clark |
|
E5 Cool |
Sean Kelvin |
Launched into Crater Lake by Clark, the lake freezes over and we assume he is not dead, just cryogenically frozen |
|
E6 Hourglass |
Harry Volk/Bolston |
Crushed by grain in the silo |
|
E7 Craving |
Jodi Melville |
Explodes the green-k-house but Clark prevents total annihilation |
 E9 Rogue |
City of Metropolis Bus Driver |
After suffering a dramatic heart attack, we see him peak out of the bus wreckage, so he’s not dead! |
|
E10 Shimmer |
Victoria |
Nearly drowned in her bath |
|
Jerry |
Knocked out when Clark shoves him into scaffolding |
|
E11 |
Kyle Tippet |
Clark super shoves him into the trailer |
|
x2 |
Doc gives him a sedative while he patches up the gunshot wound in his shoulder |
|
E12 Leech |
School Jock |
Eric takes the bully title from the king with force |
|
E13 Kinetic |
Scott Bowman |
Zapped by Lex with his taser! |
|
E14 Zero |
Roy Rothman |
The Talon contractor is found unconscious, however we later learn he was behind it all and this was faked! However, Clark gives him a super shove later on and he’s knocked unconscious for realz that time! |
|
E15 Nicodemus |
Dr. James Beels |
Knocked out after crashing his car in a flower toxin fueled rage |
|
E16 Stray |
Ryan James |
Is hit by Martha’s car while running away from his evil adoptive parents |
|
James Gibson |
Blasted in the chest with a super bowling ball through a wall that totally “didn’t” kill him. |
 E18 Drone |
Felice |
Stung in her car so bad she’s in a coma! |
|
Sasha |
Clark saves her from her shed exploding and killing all the bees! |
|
E20 Obscura |
Officer Gary Watts |
Taken out from behind by our kidnapper, his deranged partner Detective Michael Birdego |
Season 2: 17
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E3 Duplicity |
Ray Wallace |
Dr. Hamilton overdoses him on morphine, knocking him out, and killing him! |
|
Dr. Hamilton |
Pete gets revenge and knocks him out, only for liquid kryptonite to overdose his jitters and kill him. |
 E4 Red |
Bar Creep 1 |
Red K Clark gets into a bar room brawl |
|
Bar Creep 2 |
Red K Clark gets into a bar room brawl |
|
Bar Creep 3 |
Red K Clark gets into a bar room brawl |
|
Bar Creep 4 |
Red K Clark gets into a bar room brawl |
|
Bar Creep 5 |
Red K Clark gets into a bar room brawl |
|
Crooked Federal Marshall |
Red K Clark bops him on the head knocking him out cold |
|
E5 Nocturne |
Bryon Moore |
Clark shoves him into a grave stone when trying to protect Lana and gives the poor poet a concussion. |
|
Bob the pilot |
Knocked out when evil Byron gives the Luthor Corp. helicopter a crash landing. |
 E6 Redux |
Principal Reynolds |
Chrissy knocks him out with a stage light in an attempt to steal his youth! |
 E7 Lineage |
Ryan James |
Given a sedative when he attempts to make a break out! |
|
Summerholt Orderly |
Clark shoves the orderly into the wall and it’s lights out! |
|
Ryan James x2 |
This time he passes out and ruins Lex’s mint comic collection! |
 E12 Insurgence |
Kern |
Double crossed by one of his own goons! |
|
Bishop |
Knocked out when Clark enters the room with a giant shove. |
 E13 Suspect |
Lionel Luthor |
Is shot 3 times by our mystery assailant, flips over the library balcony and lands on a glass coffee table, unconscious but still alive! |
Season 4: 1
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E16 Spell |
Jason Teague |
Chucked out of the Talon apartment window by the Countess |
Season 5: 1
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E14 Tomb |
Mikey |
Taken out by the possessed Chloe |
Season 9: 10
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E3 Rabid |
Tess Mercer |
Given a sedative by hospital employees after getting pushy with Lois |
|
Randal |
Lois takes him down with a fire extinguisher |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
Lois’s second extinguisher victim |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
Clark is bowling upstairs and this reporter is the ball |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
and this reporter is the pin |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
Clark does the same trick down the stairs with this reporter as the ball |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
and these reporters are the pins |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
and these reporters are the pins |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
and these reporters are the pins |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
and these reporters are the pins |
Who do you think is the most concussed by the end of the series?
-
Clark 
-
Lex 
-
Lana 
-
Chloe 
-
Lois 
-
Other 
Knockouts will be classified as any time a character is rendered unconscious (including passing out and fainting) due to; physical blows to the head or other bodily trauma, drugs or chemicals, illness, and supernatural powers.
We will not count instances where the character is sleeping or killed unless a valid exception can be made through deliberation in the comments.
If you’re looking to get rich you’ll want to either sell, repair, or insure cars in Smallville!
All Cars Totaled (for every WAL so far): 25
Totals by Owner:
Lana: 1
The Kents: 2
Lex: 2
All Cars by Season (and how it happened!):
Season 1 (Complete): 19
| Episode |
Who’s Vehicle |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Pilot |
The Langs and their car |
Taken out by a meteor |
|
Unknown |
A cream truck taken out by a meteor |
|
Unknown |
One orange 80’s van taken out by a meteor |
|
Kent truck (red) |
Flips due to road damage from meteor impact |
|
Lex’s Porsche |
Runs into Clark and off the Lobe bridge |
|
Unknown |
Jeremy Creek run a truck into Clark and then the wall |
|
E2 Metamorphosis |
Greg Arkin’s VW Beetle |
Crashes into a tree |
|
Whitney Fordman’s truck |
Flips, then explodes, after interference by Greg |
|
E3 Hothead |
Principal Kwan’s car |
Coach Walt Arnold lights it up, and then it explodes |
|
E6 Hourglass |
Unknown |
Cassandra’s vision shows Harry’s future victims and one flipped/on fire vehicle! |
|
E9 Rogue |
City of Metropolis - Department of Transportation |
Clark decides totaling a city bus is the only way to stop it |
|
E11 Hug |
Lex Luthor |
Bob has controlled Lex who trapped Clark and Kyle in his car, lights it on fire at the gas station, which promptly explodes |
|
E12 Leech |
Unknown |
Car in the school parking lot is a casualty of the Bonecracker |
|
Unknown |
Second school car squished by Clark |
|
Smallville Police |
Upside-down in Eric’s lawn |
|
Smallville Police |
Through the roof of Eric’s house |
|
E15 Nicodemus |
Dr. James Beels |
Extreme road rage leads to a flip, and explosion |
 E21 Tempest |
Kent truck (blue) |
Explodes when Roger Nixon decides to test Clark’s powers in the most extreme way possible. |
|
Lana’s truck |
Swept up in a tornado right at the end of the episode! |
Season 2 (In Progress): 6
| Episode |
Who’s Vehicle |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Vortex |
Unknown tractor |
A tractor is squished in the field where Lana is found. |
|
Roger Nixon’s car |
Found up a tree. |
|
E3 Duplicity |
Ray Wallace |
Driven off the road by Dr. Hamilton and summersaults to a rest in front of Clark’s lost space ship! |
 E10 Skinwalker |
LuthorCorp Foreman |
When being attacked by the wolf, he shoots off a flare that falls back down onto the leaking fuel and explodes everything on the construction site. |
|
E13 Suspect |
Pete Ross |
The cover up continues when an assassin runs Pete and Clark off the road and fires a bullet into the gas tank, exploding Pete’s red sports car. |
|
E14 Rush |
Party Goer |
Happens off screen, one of he cave rave kids got bit and “wrapped his Carola around a tree” according to Chloe. |
Who do you think goes through the most vehicles in Smallville?
-
Clark
-
Lex 
-
Lana
-
Chloe 
-
Lois
-
Other
We will only count vehicles that an insurance company would classify as totaled. That means the damage to the vehicle would cost more than replacing it.
Any vehicle that; flips, explodes, floods, or crashes into a solid object like a tree or wall, will be counted.
Hitting animals or being moved/stopped by metahumans will not be counted unless the damage is extensive.
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I’ll have to add a poll so we can vote on who is the most concussed 
Really loving all things Smallville 
that’s so cool!
WAL stats!