Welcome to The Incident Report!
As we watch along together we will keep score of all the knockouts and cars ruined in each episode and tally them here.
Check out the Season 1 Watch Party thread here!
So grab your hardhat and make sure your vehicle is insured, because this list is going to get long!
This thread will contain spoilers and discuss the series as a whole.
If you’re looking to be an overworked medical professional or suffer insane amounts of brain trauma with no deleterious effects, then move to Smallville!
Total Knockouts: 69
Knockout Breakdown By Character:
Lex Luthor Total: 9
| Episode | How it Happened |
|---|---|
 S1 E1 Pilot |
Caught as a kid in the meteor shower |
|
Crashes his car into Clark on the bridge |
 S1 E10 Shimmer |
Conked on the head by our ghost |
|
Pushed headfirst into the mansions stone wall |
 S1 E11 |
Clark shoves him into some tires after Lex shot him, a lot. |
 S1 E14 Zero |
Lex is tasered and thrown into a van! |
 S1 E15 Nicodemus |
Clark shoves him into napsville |
 S5 E5 Thirst |
Knocked out by vampire Lana |
 S5 E9 Lexmas |
Shot in an alley during the opening and spends the majority of the episode in a dream world |
Lana Lang Total: 9
| Episode | How it Happened |
|---|---|
 S1 E2 Metamorphosis |
Cocooned by Greg Arkin aka “Bug Boy” |
 S1 E4 X-Ray |
Tina disguised as Whitney takes her out in the cemetery |
|
Tina puts her in a sarcophagus and she passes out from lack of oxygen |
|
S1 E11 |
Horse gets spooked and throws her off in the creepy woods |
|
S1 E15 Nicodemus |
Passes out from the flower toxin while climbing the windmill |
 S2 E21 Accelerate |
After Emily Dinsmore pushes her off the bridge |
 S4 E16 Spell |
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
|
S5 E5 Thirst |
“Killed” by Buffy |
|
Passes out from an anti-vampi-k-vaccine to the heart |
Chloe Sullivan Total: 5
| Episode | How it Happened |
|---|---|
 S1 E13 Kinetic |
Is pushed out a 3rd floor window of the Luthor mansion by our k-tattoo gang of ex-jocks! |
|
S4 E16 Spell |
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
|
S5 E5 Thirst |
Bitten into unconsciousness by vampire Lana |
 S5 E14 Tomb |
Sedated at the hospital after sputtering delusions caused by the mummy |
|
Knocked out in the basement by creepy Mikey |
Lois Lane Total: 3
| Episode | How it Happened |
|---|---|
|
S4 E16 Spell |
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
|
S5 E14 Tomb |
Taken out at the apartment by creepy Mikey |
|
Knocked out in the basement during the scuffle with Mikey |
Clark Kent Total: 8
| Episode | How it Happened |
|---|---|
 S1 E3 Hothead |
We’re counting what appears to be a quick faint in the K-sauna |
 S1 E5 Cool |
Clarksicle freezes when going up against Sean Kelvin |
 S1 E12 Leech |
Thrown into a car while powerless |
|
S4 E16 Spell |
The Countess steals all his powers and he’s rendered unconscious |
|
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
|
S5 E5 Thirst |
Passes out near the K-stalactite meds |
|
S5 E14 Tomb |
K-punched into unconsciousness by creepy Mikey |
 S9 E3 Rabid |
Passes out when donating blood with a syringe dipped in liquid K |
Jonathan Kent Total: 2
| Episode | How it Happened |
|---|---|
|
S1 E1 Pilot |
When the truck crashes before meeting Clark |
|
S1 E15 Nicodemus |
Passes out from the flower toxin while raging and accidentally shooting Clark! |
Martha Kent Total: 2
| Episode | How it Happened |
|---|---|
|
S1 E1 Pilot |
When the truck crashes before meeting Clark |
 S1 E6 Hourglass |
Crushed by grain in the silo |
Tess Mercer Total: 1
| Episode | How it Happened |
|---|---|
|
S9 E3 Rabid |
Given a sedative by hospital employees after getting pushy with Lois |
Other Characters Total: 30
| Episode | Character | How it Happened |
|---|---|---|
|
S1 E1 Pilot |
Jeremy Creek | Short circuits from water |
|
S1 E2 Metamorphosis |
Whitney Fordman | After his truck flips from Greg |
|
x2 | Thrown into a horse stall by Greg |
|
S1 E3 Hothead |
Principal Kwan | Passes out from smoke inhalation when he is trapped in his fireball car by Coach Walt Arnold |
|
S1 E4 X-Ray |
Tina Grier | Thrown into a gravestone by Clark |
|
S1 E5 Cool |
Sean Kelvin | Launched into Crater Lake by Clark, the lake freezes over and we assume he is not dead, just cryogenically frozen |
|
S1 E6 Hourglass |
Harry Volk/Bolston | Crushed by grain in the silo |
 S1 E7 Craving |
Pete Ross | Jodi shoves him and he hits the kitchen floor hard |
|
Jodi Melville | Explodes the green-k-house but Clark prevents total annihilation |
 S1 E9 Rogue |
City of Metropolis Bus Driver | After suffering a dramatic heart attack, we see him peak out of the bus wreckage, so he’s not dead! |
|
S1 E10 Shimmer |
Victoria | Nearly drowned in her bath |
|
Jerry | Knocked out when Clark shoves him into scaffolding |
|
S1 E11 |
Kyle Tippet | Clark super shoves him into the trailer |
|
x2 | Doc gives him a sedative while he patches up the gunshot wound in his shoulder |
|
S1 E12 Leech |
School Jock | Eric takes the bully title from the king with force |
|
S1 E13 Kinetic |
Scott Bowman | Zapped by Lex with his taser! |
|
S1 E14 Zero |
Roy Rothman | The Talon contractor is found unconscious, however we later learn he was behind it all and this was faked! However, Clark gives him a super shove later on and he’s knocked unconscious for realz that time! |
|
S1 E15 Nicodemus |
Dr. James Beels | Knocked out after crashing his car in a flower toxin fueled rage |
|
Pete Ross | Clark knocks some sense into him and stops his flower toxin fueled murder rampage |
|
S4 E16 Spell |
Jason Teague | Chucked out of the Talon apartment window by the Countess |
|
S5 E14 Tomb |
Mikey | Taken out by the possessed Chloe |
|
S9 E3 Rabid |
Randal | Lois takes him down with a fire extinguisher |
|
Daily Planet Employee | Lois’s second extinguisher victim |
|
Daily Planet Employee | Clark is bowling upstairs and this reporter is the ball |
|
Daily Planet Employee | and this reporter is the pin |
|
Daily Planet Employee | Clark does the same trick down the stairs with this reporter as the ball |
|
Daily Planet Employee | and these reporters are the pins |
|
Daily Planet Employee | and these reporters are the pins |
|
Daily Planet Employee | and these reporters are the pins |
|
Daily Planet Employee | and these reporters are the pins |
Who do you think is the most concussed by the end of the series?
-
Clark
-
Lex
-
Lana
-
Chloe
-
Lois
-
Other
0 voters
Knockouts will be classified as any time a character is rendered unconscious (including passing out and fainting) due to; physical blows to the head or other bodily trauma, drugs or chemicals, illness, and supernatural powers.
We will not count instances where the character is sleeping or killed unless a valid exception can be made through deliberation in the comments.
If you’re looking to get rich you’ll want to either sell, repair, or insure cars in Smallville!
Total Cars Totaled: 17
Cars Damaged Breakdown By Episode:
| Episode | Who’s Vehicle | How it Happened |
|---|---|---|
|
S1 E1 Pilot |
The Langs and their car | Taken out by a meteor |
|
Unknown | A cream truck taken out by a meteor |
|
Unknown | One orange 80’s van taken out by a meteor |
|
Kent truck | Flips due to road damage from meteor impact |
|
Lex’s Porsche | Runs into Clark and off the Lobe bridge |
|
Unknown | Jeremy Creek run a truck into Clark and then the wall |
|
S1 E2 Metamorphosis |
Greg Arkin’s VW Beetle | Crashes into a tree |
|
Whitney Fordman’s truck | Flips, then explodes, after interference by Greg |
|
S1 E3 Hothead |
Principal Kwan’s car | Coach Walt Arnold lights it up, and then it explodes |
|
S1 E6 Hourglass |
Unknown | Cassandra’s vision shows Harry’s future victims and one flipped/on fire vehicle! |
|
S1 E9 Rogue |
City of Metropolis - Department of Transportation | Clark decides totaling a city bus is the only way to stop it |
|
S1 E11 Hug |
Lex Luthor | Bob has controlled Lex who trapped Clark and Kyle in his car, lights it on fire at the gas station, which promptly explodes |
|
S1 E12 Leech |
Unknown | Car in the school parking lot is a casualty of the Bonecracker |
|
Unknown | Second school car squished by Clark |
|
Smallville Police | Upside-down in Eric’s lawn |
|
Smallville Police | Through the roof of Eric’s house |
|
S1 E15 Nicodemus |
Dr. James Beels | Extreme road rage leads to a flip, and explosion |
We will only count vehicles that an insurance company would classify as totaled. That means the damage to the vehicle would cost more than replacing it.
Any vehicle that; flips, explodes, floods, or crashes into a solid object like a tree or wall, will be counted.
Hitting animals or being moved/stopped by metahumans will not be counted unless the damage is extensive.
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I’ll have to add a poll so we can vote on who is the most concussed 
Really loving all things Smallville 
that’s so cool!
WAL stats!