Welcome to The Incident Report!
As we watch along together, we will keep score of all the knockouts and cars ruined each episode and tally them here.
Join us every Saturday at 8 PM EST for the Season 3 Watch Party!
So grab your hardhat and make sure your vehicle is insured, because this list is going to get long!
This thread will contain spoilers and discuss the series as a whole.
If you’re looking to be an overworked medical professional, or suffer insane amounts of brain trauma with no deleterious effects, then move to Smallville!
Total Knockouts (for every WAL so far): 166
Season Totals
| Season |
Total |
Visual Representation ( = 1 Unconscious Person) |
 |
49 (Complete) |
|
 |
53 (Complete) |
|
 |
35 (In Progress) |
|
 |
6 (from holiday event) |
|
 |
12 (from holiday event) |
|
 |
TBD |
|
 |
TBD |
|
 |
TBD |
|
 |
11 (from holiday event) |
|
 |
TBD |
|
Totals by Character (and how it happened!):
Clark Kent: 19
Season 1: 3 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E3 Hothead |
We’re counting what appears to be a quick faint in the K-sauna |
 E5 Cool |
Clarksicle freezes when going up against Sean Kelvin |
 E12 Leech |
Thrown into a car while powerless |
Season 2: 4 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E14 Rush |
Pete punches Clark into the side of the Talon with a fist full of kryptonite! |
 E16 Fever |
Clark passes out on the porch after coming down with the meteor infected flu! |
 E17 Rosetta |
Clark sleep “walks” to the cave and puts the key in the wall. He’s hit by a beam of light and wakes up in the middle of Route 8! |
 E23 Exodus |
After destroying the ship, Clark wakes up under the rubble of the storm cellar, the newest crater in Smallville |
Season 3: 6 (In Progress)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E3 Extinction |
Clark passes out and almost dies from getting shot by a kryptonite bullet! |
 E4 Slumber |
It’s all a dream…literally! Clark is trapped in Sara Conroy’s dream nightmare. |
|
Struggling to stay awake, Clark falls asleep in the middle of his study session with Lana. |
|
Clark falls asleep at the wheel and puts the truck into the most epic cartwheel, but don’t worry, he slept through the whole thing. |
 E9 Asylum |
Knocked out by the kryptonite beating he’s given while trying to rescue Lex. |
 E13 Velocity |
Knocked out with a bonk to the head by a meteor infused nitro tank. |
|
Wakes up in the trunk of Pete’s car, only to pass out again due to the vicinity of the same tank that knocked him out the first time! |
Season 4: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E8 Spell |
The Countess steals all his powers and he’s rendered unconscious |
|
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
Season 5: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E5 Thirst |
Passes out near the K-stalactite meds |
 E14 Tomb |
K-punched into unconsciousness by creepy Mikey |
Season 9: 1
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E3 Rabid |
Passes out when donating blood with a syringe dipped in liquid K |
Lex Luthor: 16
Season 1: 8 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E1 Pilot |
Caught as a kid in the meteor shower |
|
Crashes his car into Clark on the bridge |
 E10 Shimmer |
Conked on the head by our ghost |
|
Pushed headfirst into the mansions stone wall |
 E11 |
Clark shoves him into some tires after Lex shot him, a lot. |
 E14 Zero |
Lex is tasered and thrown into a van! |
 E15 Nicodemus |
Clark shoves him into napsville |
 E16 Stray |
Tossed out of a moving limo |
Season 2: 2 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E7 Lineage |
Drugged in his own car! Convertible life gone wrong! |
|
Knocked out while unconscious so he doesn’t see Clark saving his life from the axe murder! |
Season 3: 4 (In Progress)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
| E9 Asylum
|
Tasered when attempting to escape over the barbed wire fence of Belle Reve. |
|
Knocked out after the beating. |
|
Given a sedative when captured by the orderlies as he tries to rescue Clark. |
|
Passed out after the electric shock memory wipe treatment. |
Season 5: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E5 Thirst |
Knocked out by vampire Lana |
 E9 Lexmas |
Shot in an alley during the opening and spends the majority of the episode in a dream world |
Lana Lang: 16
Season 1: 6 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E2 Metamorphosis |
Cocooned by Greg Arkin aka “Bug Boy” |
 E4 X-Ray |
Tina disguised as Whitney takes her out in the cemetery |
|
Tina puts her in a sarcophagus and she passes out from lack of oxygen |
|
E11 |
Horse gets spooked and throws her off in the creepy woods |
|
E15 Nicodemus |
Passes out from the flower toxin while climbing the windmill |
 E20 Obscura |
Hits the ground hard after a gas line explosion and wakes up seeing through someone else’s eyes! |
Season 2: 4 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E1 Vortex |
Of course she’s unconscious, it’s the season premiere and Clark’s literally saving her from a tornado! |
 E5 Nocturne |
Pushed into the cemetery mausoleum by evil Byron and bonks her head |
 E11 Visage |
Tina disguised as Clark shoves her into the wall in the Talon |
 E21 Accelerate |
After Emily Dinsmore pushes her off the bridge |
Season 3: 3 (In Progress)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E4 Slumber |
While trying to stop Sara’s Uncle Conroy, Lana is put to sleep with the same drug! |
 E8 Shattered |
Lex pushes her into a horse stall and the spooked horse tramples her. |
 E12 Hereafter |
Kidnapped by a mysterious assailant in the school! |
Season 4: 1
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E8 Spell |
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
Season 5: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E5 Thirst |
“Killed” by Buffy |
|
Passes out from an anti-vampi-k-vaccine to the heart |
Chloe Sullivan: 9
Season 1: 3 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E13 Kinetic |
Is pushed out a 3rd floor window of the Luthor mansion by our k-tattoo gang of ex-jocks! |
 E19 Crush |
Chloe is hit by a telekinetic horse shoe and falls like a sack of grain onto sacks of grain |
|
E20 Obscura |
She’s found unconscious by Clark after her kidnapper buried her in a metal coffin underground in Chandler’s Field! |
Season 2: 2 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E9 Dichotic |
Hits the pavement when fighting back against Ian who is about to throw her over the dam! |
|
E14 Rush |
Happens off screen, when she undergoes surgery to remove the adrenaline junky alien parasite. |
Season 4: 1
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E8 Spell |
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
Season 5: 3
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E5 Thirst |
Bitten into unconsciousness by vampire Lana |
|
E14 Tomb |
Sedated at the hospital after sputtering delusions caused by the mummy |
|
Knocked out in the basement by creepy Mikey |
Lois Lane: 3
Season 4: 1
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E8 Spell |
After Clark destroys the Countess’s spell book, everyone wakes up on the cave floor |
Season 5: 2
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E14 Tomb |
Taken out at the apartment by creepy Mikey |
|
Knocked out in the basement during the scuffle with Mikey |
Other Characters: 94
Martha Kent: 7
Season 1: 2 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Pilot |
When the truck crashes before meeting Clark |
 E6 Hourglass |
Crushed by grain in the silo |
Season 2: 4 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Vortex |
Martha is knocked unconscious by the spaceship as it takes off from the storm cellar |
|
E16 Fever |
Martha and this storm cellar again? Martha passes out when overwhelmed by the meteor infected virus she digs up. |
 E20 Witness |
When the K-inhaler jocks attack the Kent’s in the barn, Martha is found unconscious hanging on the barn wall. |
|
E23 Exodus |
When the ship explodes a energy wave hits the Kent truck, sending it into an out of control flip and knocking Martha out. |
Season 3: 1 (In Progress)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
E11 Delete 
|
Kicked by Chloe when under mind control. |
Pete Ross: 7
Season 1: 2 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it happened |
 E7 Craving |
Jodi shoves him and he hits the kitchen floor hard |
|
E15 Nicodemus |
Clark knocks some sense into him and stops his flower toxin fueled murder rampage |
Season 2: 4 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it happened |
 E3 Duplicity |
Knocked out by Dr. Hamilton during the scuffle in his barn over the space ship! |
|
E5 Nocturne |
Knowing Clark’s secret sure hurts, this time evil Byron pushes him off the porch and onto a car windshield |
|
E11 Visage |
Tina disguised at Lana throws him head first into the school lockers |
|
E14 Rush |
Happens off screen, when he undergoes surgery to remove the adrenaline junky alien parasite. |
Season 3: 1 (In Progress)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
E10 Whisper 
|
Pistol whipped by the sonic burglar turned kidnapper. |
Jonathan Kent: 5
Season 1: 2 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Pilot |
When the truck crashes before meeting Clark |
|
E15 Nicodemus |
Passes out from the flower toxin while raging and accidentally shooting Clark! |
Season 2: 1 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
 E15 Prodigal |
Knocked out from behind in the barn by Lucas who then abducts Lex for his evil scheme. |
Season 3: 2 (In Progress)
| Episode |
How it Happened |
|
E11 Delete |
Chloe drops hay bales from the top of the barn and snaps him out of his mind control. |
|
E12 Hereafter |
Clark finds him on the floor in the barn! |
Whitney Fordman: 3
Season 1: 3 (Complete)
| Episode |
How it happened |
|
E2 Metamorphosis |
After his truck flips from Greg |
|
Thrown into a horse stall by Greg |
 E17 Reaper |
Shoved into a sink by the hand of death himself while trying to save his dad from becoming ashes |
All Other Characters: 80
Season 1: 20 (Complete)
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Pilot |
Jeremy Creek |
Short circuits from water |
|
E3 Hothead |
Principal Kwan |
Passes out from smoke inhalation when he is trapped in his fireball car by Coach Walt Arnold |
|
E4 X-Ray |
Tina Grier |
Thrown into a gravestone by Clark |
|
E5 Cool |
Sean Kelvin |
Launched into Crater Lake by Clark, the lake freezes over and we assume he is not dead, just cryogenically frozen |
|
E6 Hourglass |
Harry Volk/Bolston |
Crushed by grain in the silo |
|
E7 Craving |
Jodi Melville |
Explodes the green-k-house but Clark prevents total annihilation |
 E9 Rogue |
City of Metropolis Bus Driver |
After suffering a dramatic heart attack, we see him peak out of the bus wreckage, so he’s not dead! |
|
E10 Shimmer |
Victoria |
Nearly drowned in her bath |
|
Jerry |
Knocked out when Clark shoves him into scaffolding |
|
E11 |
Kyle Tippet |
Clark super shoves him into the trailer |
|
x2 |
Doc gives him a sedative while he patches up the gunshot wound in his shoulder |
|
E12 Leech |
School Jock |
Eric takes the bully title from the king with force |
|
E13 Kinetic |
Scott Bowman |
Zapped by Lex with his taser! |
|
E14 Zero |
Roy Rothman |
The Talon contractor is found unconscious, however we later learn he was behind it all and this was faked! However, Clark gives him a super shove later on and he’s knocked unconscious for realz that time! |
|
E15 Nicodemus |
Dr. James Beels |
Knocked out after crashing his car in a flower toxin fueled rage |
|
E16 Stray |
Ryan James |
Is hit by Martha’s car while running away from his evil adoptive parents |
|
James Gibson |
Blasted in the chest with a super bowling ball through a wall that totally “didn’t” kill him. |
 E18 Drone |
Felice |
Stung in her car so bad she’s in a coma! |
|
Sasha |
Clark saves her from her shed exploding and killing all the bees! |
|
E20 Obscura |
Officer Gary Watts |
Taken out from behind by our kidnapper, his deranged partner Detective Michael Birdego |
Season 2: 32 (Complete)
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E3 Duplicity |
Ray Wallace |
Dr. Hamilton overdoses him on morphine, knocking him out, and killing him! |
|
Dr. Hamilton |
Pete gets revenge and knocks him out, only for liquid kryptonite to overdose his jitters and kill him. |
 E4 Red |
Bar Creep 1 |
Red K Clark gets into a bar room brawl |
|
Bar Creep 2 |
Red K Clark gets into a bar room brawl |
|
Bar Creep 3 |
Red K Clark gets into a bar room brawl |
|
Bar Creep 4 |
Red K Clark gets into a bar room brawl |
|
Bar Creep 5 |
Red K Clark gets into a bar room brawl |
|
Crooked Federal Marshall |
Red K Clark bops him on the head knocking him out cold |
|
E5 Nocturne |
Bryon Moore |
Clark shoves him into a grave stone when trying to protect Lana and gives the poor poet a concussion. |
|
Bob the pilot |
Knocked out when evil Byron gives the Luthor Corp. helicopter a crash landing. |
 E6 Redux |
Principal Reynolds |
Chrissy knocks him out with a stage light in an attempt to steal his youth! |
 E7 Lineage |
Ryan James |
Given a sedative when he attempts to make a break out! |
|
Summerholt Orderly |
Clark shoves the orderly into the wall and it’s lights out! |
|
Ryan James x2 |
This time he passes out and ruins Lex’s mint comic collection! |
 E12 Insurgence |
Kern |
Double crossed by one of his own goons! |
|
Bishop |
Knocked out when Clark enters the room with a giant shove. |
 E13 Suspect |
Lionel Luthor |
Is shot 3 times by our mystery assailant, flips over the library balcony and lands on a glass coffee table, unconscious but still alive! |
|
E16 Fever |
Military soldier guarding the Disease Control Agency’s warehouse |
Clark uses a fire extinguisher to knock him out cold! |
|
E17 Rosetta |
Dr. Walden |
Puts the key in the cave wall but access is denied and is blasted with an overload of alien knowledge! |
 E18 Visitor |
Kyle |
School terrorizer finally gets hit with Smallville karma as the chain snaps and breaks his neck! Don’t stand in between a line at tension folks! |
|
Cyrus Krupp |
Has a total mental collapse and is left in a vegetative state, or maybe his mind was abducted! |
 E19 Precipice |
Jerk #1
|
Thrown into the trash piled in the alley, where he belongs, by Clark. |
|
Jerk #2
|
Same. |
|
Andrew Conners |
Thrown onto the new Sheriffs car by Clark. |
|
Dr. Helen Bryce |
Stabbed by her unhinged stalker jealous ex. |
|
Andrew Conners |
Kicked into unconsciousness by Lana. |
|
Paul Hayden |
Pistol whipped by Lex, and he’s lucky he’s not the villain of this story, yet… |
|
E20 Witness |
LuthorCorp van driver |
Knocked out when Eric and his meteor inhaling buds use crossbows connected with a cable to clothesline the van and flip it. |
|
Meteor inhaling John |
Clark zaps overhead pipes onto his head. |
|
Meteor inhaling Jack |
Clark super shoves him into the thug pile. |
|
Eric Marsh |
Clark flings him into a wall of pipes like the best home run of Eric’s life. |
|
E21 Accelerate |
Pete Densmore |
First thought to be dead, we learn Pete is alive and well in the hospital after Emily lost her temper. |
Season 3: 17 (In Progress)
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E3 Extinction |
Van McNulty |
Taken out by Clark |
|
E4 Slumber |
Sara Conroy |
Kept asleep by her uncle to profit off of the insurance! |
|
Nicholas Conroy |
Tossed into a tree by Clark who stop the evil uncle from blowing up Lana’s car with her inside! |
 E6 Relic |
Lachlan Luthor |
Jor-El saves Louise from a purse napper (potentially staged by Sherriff Tate) by throwing the would be thief to the ground rendering him briefly unconscious. |
 E7 Magnetic |
MRI Technician |
Knocked out by the force from the malfunctioning MRI machine. |
|
Seth |
Knocked out when Clark depolarizes his abilities. |
|
E8 Shattered |
Stranger |
Lex knocks him out and steals his car. |
|
Lionel Luthor |
Pistol whipped by Lex. |
|
Jameson |
Morgan Edge’s guard is knocked out off screen by Lex. |
| E9 Asylum
|
Mean Orderly |
Lex chokes him out while trying to escape. |
|
Nice Orderly |
Lex beats him unconscious with the first orderly’s baton. |
|
Ian Randall |
Presumably knocked out off screen when tossed by Eric Summers. |
|
Presumably knocked out off screen when Clark get’s his powers back. |
|
|
E12 Hereafter |
Coach Altman |
Sedated in the hospital after having a breakdown at school. |
|
Jordan Cross |
Knocked out by Lana’s mysterious assailant. |
|
Megan Calder |
Passes out from smoke inhalation. |
|
Jordan Cross x2 |
Clark finds him knocked out after a fight with Mr. Altman. |
Season 4: 1
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E8 Spell |
Jason Teague |
Chucked out of the Talon apartment window by the Countess |
Season 5: 1
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E14 Tomb |
Mikey |
Taken out by the possessed Chloe |
Season 9: 10
| Episode |
Character |
How it Happened |
|
E3 Rabid |
Tess Mercer |
Given a sedative by hospital employees after getting pushy with Lois |
|
Randal |
Lois takes him down with a fire extinguisher |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
Lois’s second extinguisher victim |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
Clark is bowling upstairs and this reporter is the ball |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
and this reporter is the pin |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
Clark does the same trick down the stairs with this reporter as the ball |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
and these reporters are the pins |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
and these reporters are the pins |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
and these reporters are the pins |
|
Daily Planet Employee |
and these reporters are the pins |
Who do you think is the most concussed by the end of the series?
-
Clark 
-
Lex 
-
Lana 
-
Chloe 
-
Lois 
-
Other 
Knockouts will be classified as any time a character is rendered unconscious (including passing out and fainting) due to; physical blows to the head or other bodily trauma, drugs or chemicals, illness, and supernatural powers.
We will not count instances where the character is sleeping or killed unless a valid exception can be made through deliberation in the comments.
If you’re looking to get rich, you’ll want to either; sell, repair, or insure cars in Smallville!
All Cars Totaled (for every WAL so far): 35
Season Totals
| Season |
Total |
Visual Representation ( = 1 Totaled Vehicle) |
|
19 (Complete) |
|
|
9 (Complete) |
|
|
7 (In Progress) |
|
|
TBD |
|
|
TBD |
|
|
TBD |
|
|
TBD |
|
|
TBD |
|
|
TBD |
|
|
TBD |
|
Highest Insurance Premiums:
The Kents: 5
Lex: 2
Lana: 1
All Cars by Season (and how it happened!):
Season 1: 19 (Complete)
| Episode |
Who’s Vehicle |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Pilot |
The Langs and their car |
Taken out by a meteor |
|
Unknown |
A cream truck taken out by a meteor |
|
Unknown |
One orange 80’s van taken out by a meteor |
|
Kent truck (red) |
Flips due to road damage from meteor impact |
|
Lex’s Porsche |
Runs into Clark and off the Lobe bridge |
|
Unknown |
Jeremy Creek run a truck into Clark and then the wall |
|
E2 Metamorphosis |
Greg Arkin’s VW Beetle |
Crashes into a tree |
|
Whitney Fordman’s truck |
Flips, then explodes, after interference by Greg |
|
E3 Hothead |
Principal Kwan’s car |
Coach Walt Arnold lights it up, and then it explodes |
|
E6 Hourglass |
Unknown |
Cassandra’s vision shows Harry’s future victims and one flipped/on fire vehicle! |
|
E9 Rogue |
City of Metropolis - Department of Transportation |
Clark decides totaling a city bus is the only way to stop it |
|
E11 Hug |
Lex Luthor |
Bob has controlled Lex who trapped Clark and Kyle in his car, lights it on fire at the gas station, which promptly explodes |
|
E12 Leech |
Unknown |
Car in the school parking lot is a casualty of the Bonecracker |
|
Unknown |
Second school car squished by Clark |
|
Smallville Police |
Upside-down in Eric’s lawn |
|
Smallville Police |
Through the roof of Eric’s house |
|
E15 Nicodemus |
Dr. James Beels |
Extreme road rage leads to a flip, and explosion |
 E21 Tempest |
Kent truck (blue) |
Explodes when Roger Nixon decides to test Clark’s powers in the most extreme way possible. |
|
Lana’s truck |
Swept up in a tornado right at the end of the episode! |
Season 2: 9 (Complete)
| Episode |
Who’s Vehicle |
How it Happened |
|
E1 Vortex |
Unknown tractor |
A tractor is squished in the field where Lana is found. |
|
Roger Nixon’s car |
Found up a tree. |
|
E3 Duplicity |
Ray Wallace |
Driven off the road by Dr. Hamilton and summersaults to a rest in front of Clark’s lost space ship! |
 E10 Skinwalker |
LuthorCorp Foreman |
When being attacked by the wolf, he shoots off a flare that falls back down onto the leaking fuel and explodes everything on the construction site. |
|
E13 Suspect |
Pete Ross |
The cover up continues when an assassin runs Pete and Clark off the road and fires a bullet into the gas tank, exploding Pete’s red sports car. |
|
E14 Rush |
Party Goer |
Happens off screen, one of he cave rave kids got bit and “wrapped his Carola around a tree” according to Chloe. |
|
E18 Visitor |
Kyle |
Clark decides full blown arson is the solution when this pack of school terrorizers are about to beat him and Cyrus with baseball bats and chains…yeah maybe setting their truck ablaze was justified. |
|
E20 Witness |
LuthorCorp (Lionel) |
Eric and his meteor inhaling buds use crossbows connected with a cable to clothesline the van and flip it. |
|
E23 Exodus |
The Kents |
When Clark destroys the ship, the energy wave during the explosion sends the truck hood over bumper. |
Season 3: 7 (In Progress)
| Episode |
Who’s Vehicle |
How it Happened |
 E1 Exile |
Officer Maggie Sawyer |
Clark uses his heat vision to blow up a cop car in broad daylight! |
|
E4 Slumber |
The Kent’s Red Truck |
Clark falls asleep at the wheel and puts the truck into the above GIF’s cartwheel, but don’t worry, he slept through the whole thing. |
 E5 Perry |
Perry White |
After swerving to miss Clark who is standing in the middle of the road, Perry crashes into a telephone pole which snaps in half and crushes it. Granted, he was also driving drunk, reading a map, and talking on the phone. |
|
The Kent’s tractor |
Clark accidentally flips it into the next county due to his powers being on the fritz during a solar storm event. |
|
E8 Shattered |
Morgan Edge |
Clark stops the car from running over Lex, by putting his shoulder through the engine block. |
| E9 Asylum
|
Dr. Claire Foster |
Off screen, we learn she “wrapped her car around a tree” off the highway, when Lionel is covering his tracks. |
|
E13 Velocity |
Dante |
Clark punches a hole through Pete’s gas tank to stop him from getting blown up, Dante’s car loses control on the wet road and does the flip. |
Who do you think goes through the most vehicles in Smallville?
-
Clark
-
Lex 
-
Lana
-
Chloe 
-
Lois
-
Other
We will only count vehicles that an insurance company would classify as totaled. That means the damage to the vehicle would cost more than replacing it.
Any vehicle that; flips, explodes, floods, or crashes into a solid object like a tree or wall, will be counted.
Hitting animals or being moved/stopped by metahumans will not be counted unless the damage is extensive.
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I’ll have to add a poll so we can vote on who is the most concussed 
Really loving all things Smallville 
that’s so cool!
WAL stats!