Tech Tuesday: The Hack. Which DC Universe Gadget Will Save You?

Ok Batcomputer!

I redownload the pirate site onto my laptop. Then, I use my genius abilities (also known as saying “Batcomputer, do this”) to track down everyone that has been on the site since I started the Snyder Cut originally. I filter through everyone with the first or last name “Jake”. There are 7 different Jakes!!! What to do, what to do?! Oh yeah, Jake was stupid enough to use his first name, maybe he’ll tell me his last name, too! I email him saying:

Dear Jake,

I’ve seen your ransom and I think we could be great friends. However, my parents say I shouldn’t be friends with strangers. However, if you tell me your last name, we wouldn’t be strangers, would we?

Your soon-to-be friend,
Cameron

He then responds with:

Oh of course Cameron! My last name is Barnborrel.

That was easy enough. I then send a virus through the Batcomputer (it’s okay, Batman designed it, so there’s no way he didn’t install an anti-virus) and into Jake’s computer.

Problem solved.

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As I realize I was in trouble, all I wanted was to see the movie! But who this Jake is? So I decided to use the Motherbox to help me find him and it turn out to be Sportsmaster78!
I Ask Motherbox to take me to his location, and when I’ve got there he grin, “So @Alec.Holland never added Dr. Mid-nite goggles to the gadget list, and Kelex got you the Motherbox instead When rolling the dice! Oh this is too good, gotta have your Mommy with you, huh Reaganfan78!”
I ask him not to insult me and ask him to please keep a secret about me watching Snyder’s Justice League, and promise to pay him. and he said," You’re bribing me? Wouldn’t that be a scandal if DC and HBO Max finds out about this!"
Then having enough of him breaking the 4th wall, I use a Motherbox to sent Sportsmaster78 on a different location of the earth to a swampy place Area!
Sportsmaster78 nervously grin, “Great, I’m probably gonna run into that Swamp guy I’ve heard about! This isn’t over yet Reaganfan78! I’ll be back” Then Sportsmaster78 hears a splash of water towards him, then a second later see a bubble in front of him bubbly, suddenly Swamp thing came out of the water and grab the terrified Sportsmaster78! Sportsmaster78 was begging for his life, “Don’t kill me man, please don’t kill me!” And Swamp Thing said, “I’m not going to kill you, I want you to do me a favor, tell your friends, tell all of your friends about me.” And Sportsmaster78 ask, “What are you?!” And Swamp Thing said, “I’m Swamp Thing!” And he toss the terrified Sportsmaster78 in the swampy water and dissappear!
In the meantime I’m smiling and decided to watch the new Suicide Squad movie next, after making some popcorn!
The End…
:slightly_smiling_face::popcorn::tv:

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@Kelex roll 1d6

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:game_die: 5

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is this showing up for anyone?

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Oof, Joker’s Bang ‘Flag’ Gun. Okay…

So I’m guessing the JL got electricity back after my mess-up last week. So, I decide to celebrate by watching a 4 hour movie. Afterwards, I delete it and continue on my day. Then I get that email. Jake? I only know so many Jakes… I know it isn’t Jake from State Farm. He’s too cool for that.

After a while of looking through all my Facebook friends that start with ‘J’, I just stop looking. I sent the world back to the Stone Age last week. I think I’ll be okay for pirating a 4 hour movie. So, turn my email notifications off and go back to the rest of my day. Problem solved.

Yep, this is me avoiding using Joker’s gun. I don’t want it. :laughing:

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@Kelex roll 1d6

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:game_die: 6

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@kelex roll 1d6

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:game_die: 1

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Wild Card I’ll use A.L.F.R.E.D.

“Jake” as they like to call them is trying to blackmail me. So with A.L.F.R.E.D. I’ll use it to defeat there scamming with way with his simulated supperior whit and charm to get him to stop. It all feel like it was “Jake”’s idea to stop the blackmail due to A.L.F.R.E.D.‘s manipulation skills.

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Yup, I see it.:slightly_smiling_face:

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Well, simple enough. I reply to the email agreeing to meet whatever demands they have at a face-to-face meeting. Then, I tie them in the Lasso of Truth, and use it to dig up some dirt on him. After all, if he’s spying on my computer, he’s certainly up to some illicit activity himself. Mutually assured destruction keeps both of our secrets safe.

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@Kelex roll 1d6

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:game_die: 3

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@Kelex roll 1d6

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:game_die: 6

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“Hey Batcomputer!”, I shout.
Yes, Skajadeh?
“Find me this guy Jake that’s trying to blackmail me!”
I have found 3,902,410 instances of, Jake.
“Great, can you -”
I need to perform and update.
“Wait, you mean NOW?”
Downloading Update…
“Are you kidding me?”
Download at 1%
“Can’t you do that in the background, or minimize or something?”
Download at 5%
“CANCEL! CANCEL!”
Download at 3%
“What! How did you lose 2%”
Bad Internet Connection. Rural Broadband isn’t what you think it is.
[Gasps] Points Finger
“You heard me! This isn’t taking all of your resources. Now tell me who this Jake is that is blackmailing me!”
I can show you 5,404,202 results from Pinterest.
“No! I don’t want results from Pinterest! No one wants results from Pinterest! Just show me the Jake who is blackmailing me!”
Your not Batman
“First of all, it is ‘You’re’. Second of all, no, I am not Batman. Can you please show me the Jake who is blackmailing me.”
This is why you don’t have friends.
“I have friends. Now. Jake. Show me. Please. I am so tired of this.”
Pass phrase, Please, recognized.
“All I had to say was, ‘Please’ and you would have gotten me the result I was looking for?”
Yes, it is how I parse commands.
“Oh my God. Did Alfred program you or something?”
He designed the UI
“Of course he did. Now, can you PLEASE, show me who this Jake is that is blackmailing me?”
Jake refers to Jake Davis, a computer hacker also known as Topiary who is currently wanted by GCPD and the Federal Government.
“Why would a computer hacker use his real name and blackmail me for illegal computer activity. Seems a bit hypocritical.”
He says you owe his cousin $20 for that Customs bribe, and turning you in for downloading the Snyder Cut was the easiest way he could get it from you.
“How do you know about his cousin. That wasn’t in the email.”
We’ve been chatting this whole time.

He says your a punk.
“I’m not even going to act surprised at this point, and also, the proper way to spell it is…”
“You know, forget it. Can you ask him if I can just send it over through the Venom app.”
He says that would be acceptable.
“Do you need my details?”
Already have them. Shall I make the transfer?
“Yes, and is Batman nearby?”
He is. Should I send him after Jake?
“Yes, please do that. If I can’t punch anything, at least Batman should.”

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@Kelex roll 1d6

5 Likes

:game_die: 4

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