“Legion” Issue #1

It all starts with “RING RING RING” of his cheap alarm clock. Brett Pryme is a regular 23 year old white kid from palm city. His parents divorced when he was young. Brett lives with his mom and alcoholic grand mother. The living situation is less than heavenly by a long shot. Brett has started at a community college where he is studying an associates with the hopeful possibility of a major in history. Today’s the day when his history class will go see a new history museum about the battle of Troy but the coolest part is the section about Achilles. Brett knows he has some Greek heritage in his family, but doesn’t know much about it. So as he sets off to school to attend the museum he is definitely pumped about the museum, but the fact he will aslo spend the day with his awkward somewhat obsessive crush Ari Ward. A half British half American girl who moved to palm city six months ago. Yes his life seems average but today everything for Brett will change. His class arrives at the museum where the start to the tour the class all lugs along and Brett at this point has paid attention more to Ari than the exhibit anyway. Finally they come up to Achilles exhibit where he spots the central piece which is a statue of Achilles with a sword, shield, bow, and other sorts of weapons they claimed were “The Legendary Achilles”. Brett suddenly sounds out the whole world it gets extremely quite, and he starts to feel a weird pull towards the center exhibit. He gets up to the statue and the weapons and feels an insatiable erge to touch one of the old weapons he reaches his bare hand out and slightly touches the sword once he does…BOOM! He feels a rush of heat and just pure fire run through his veins through his body completely and then…he blacks out and falls to the ground in front of every one. Most start laughing at an uproar but Ari seems to have worry as the teachers runs over frantically yelling to call an ambulance. He’s put in the ambulance taken to the hospital. Once he’s underway he starts to dream where he sees a lady in the water with these wrappings that’s she’s covering him with everything but his ankle and she’s telling him that your ancestor your once great great great great great great grandfather was Achilles him self. It’s weird and finally starts to hear noise and boom he wakes up in the hospital with wires attached and his mother and his dad/stepmom in the room patiently worrying sick…

Let me know what you think of this issue! Next issues is number 2 and it’s titled finding my way in the shoes of Achilles. Thanks Brett Wayne!

2 Likes

I thought it was good. It got more interesting as it went along. I like the idea of getting Achilles powers and how he gets his powers from a museum exhibit. It opens the story up to all kinds of future possibilities to tap into deeper Greek mythology like he could meet the decendent of Hercules and they could have a team up. you could build an entire pantheon of hero decedents. :crossed_swords::shield::bow_and_arrow:

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Thank you very much for your input. Those are some great ideas. Please check in or a day or two for issue #2

This is good. You make it sound interesting to where I can’t wait to read issue number 2. Just a pointer, add more adjectives and nouns describing characters and scenery so you really get the feel like you’re there inside the story.

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