Hal: shatters a window and climbs through it
Hal: turns around and helps Kyle through it Breaking and entering is wrong Kyle.
Kyle: Okay.
2 Likes
J’onn: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.
Booster: Hey, J’onn.
J’onn: GODDAMNIT!
3 Likes
Mister Miracle: There is no future. There is no past. Don’t you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.
Ted: …All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
2 Likes
Guy: Tell them to eat s***, Dinah.
Dinah: Tell them yourself.
Guy: Eat s***, a**hole. Fall of your horse.
2 Likes
Booster: If I see a bug, I simply leave the room elegantly and require someone else do something about it.
Booster: If no one fulfills my wish, I simply never go back in there.
2 Likes
Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread
Guy: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Batman: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.
Ted: if you want information it is
Booster: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?
2 Likes
Generate Quote Shuffle Names
Big Barda: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons?
Mister Miracle: Um, make lemonade?
Big Barda: No, they squeeze them right back into life’s eyes!
2 Likes
Hal: The only straight I am is a straight-up bada**.
3 Likes
Hal: Have I ever told you that you cook well?
Ollie: Awww, no, you haven’t!
Hal: So why do you keep cooking?
2 Likes
Hal: Ollie has only knocked me out three time this week. Our friendship is really developing.
2 Likes
Ollie to Hal: We smell of sweat and loss.
2 Likes
Tim: Why be the main character when you could be the confused extra who looks directly into the camera
4 Likes
Superman: Batman, what are you doing here?
Batman: Why ask the question which you know the answer?
Superman: Don’t give up on them Batman, Mankind has evolved.
Batman: Yes, into us. Sneaking around here Superman? What are you looking for?
Superman: I’m continuing searching for hope.
Batman: I’ll bring you hope old friend, I only ask, don’t get in my way. We have a future Superman, not them. They no longer matter!
3 Likes
DC The Office
Lex: Dang it Superman, stop putting my stapler in jello!
Superman (Eating Jello) How do you know if it was me?
4 Likes
DC: The Office Part 2
@Jitsu: Ok Lex and Superman, here’s how we’re going to do this, Lex you’ll be a caller while Superman will be a customer on the phone. Your job is to offer him DC Universe Infinite at a low price, now go. Pick up the phone.
Lex: Sound easy, Ring ring. Ring ring.
Superman: Hello?
Lex: Good afternoon sir, this is Lex Luthor from DC Universe, who may I ask who I’m talking to?
Superman: This is Bark Bent.
Lex: Really? That’s your real name?
Superman: How dare you, my family help build this country by the way.
@Jitsu: Come on Lex, don’t insult him, tell him why you’re calling.
Lex: I’m sorry sir, reason I’m calling is—
Superman: Excuse me got another call, please hold.
Lex: Ok.
Superman: Hello? Oh hey @Alec.Holland how are you doing? Listen I’ve got annoying caller talking to me right now, probably selling more Kandor bottles, he’s probably a idiot, gonna have to call you back, bye. (To Lex) Ok I’m back, sorry, family emergency.
Lex: I’m sorry, everything ok?
Superman: You know what, that’s private.
Jitsu: Come on, Boundary Lex!
Lex: Anyway like I was saying, I wanted to let you know that DC Universe Infinite has never been lower.
Superman: Sorry you’re going to have to speak up, I’m hard of hearing.
Lex: MR. BENT OUR PRICE HAS NEVER BEEN LOWER!
Superman: Louder son!
Lex: MR. BENT, OUR PRICE HAS NEVER BEEN LOWER!!!
Jitsu: Lex stop it, that’s totally inappropriate! You never yell at the customer! Never! Give me the phone!
Lex: Mr. Bent I like to put you on the phone with my boss.
Superman: Well I should hope so.
Jitsu: Hello Mr. Bent, this is Jitsu of DC Universe, we would like to offer you a 20% discount on DC Universe app.
Superman: You sound like a nice person Jitsu, I’ll take a year of Ultra, please. But first You’ve got to fired Lex, he’s rude, loud & hostile.
Lex: Please don’t fire me Jitsu!
Jitsu: We’ll talk about it later, (to Superman) you’ve got yourself a deal Mr Bent.
Superman: Good, bye.
Lex: Yes we did it!
Jitsu: See how easy that was?
The End. 
4 Likes
Arrowverse Ollie Queen: I am so filled with turmoil:(((( My dad is dead :(((((
Comics Ollie Queen: kicking down the door of a local landlord HIDEY HO B*TCH A LITTLE BIRDIE TOLD ME sOmEoNe HERE HAS BEEN ILLEGALLY EVICTING TENANTS SO WE CAN DO THIS THE EASY WAY OR THE I-HIT-YOU-WITH-A-BOXING-GLOVE-ARROW-WAY
4 Likes
Ted: I think I need a hug…
Booster: Good thing I’m hug shaped!
45 minutes later
Ted: You… you can let go now.
Booster: No, I absolutely cannot.
3 Likes
Ted: So I got this amazing plan!
Booster: We fail almost every time you say that.
Ted: Well this is the same! But with a hamster involved.
3 Likes