How would you defeat a superhero? Or villain?

I think I can take Superman.

So I would buy a dozen 2 Oz lead sinkers. I’d saw one in half on a bandsaw. I’d hollow it out with a dremel and fill the hollow space with ground Green Kryptonite. I’d glue the two halves together with a little crazy glue and put them all in the pockets of my overcoat.

I’d hang out at the cocktail bar closest to the Daily Planet every afternoon for as long as it took until Clark Kent came in looking exasperated. He’d order a drink. It’s busy and he looks unimportant and not very interesting. He’d be waiting for bar service.

I’m a regular at this point and the bartender knows me. I’d approach Clark and put a friendly arm around him. I wave the bartender over and order myself a gin martini and whatever Clark wants. (What does Superman drink?).

I’d get all chummy. I’d tell him I was on vacation and fishing for giant grouper around the ports and bridges around metropolis and striking out. (That would explain the lead sinkers. So I could alleviate any suspicions about the lead sinkers in my pockets as he uses his X-ray vision)

Clark might be reserved at first. But after I opened up to him about my fishing he might start getting friendly after a few super cocktails. He’d tell me how Lois is the love of his life but she’s such a nag sometimes. She just can’t handle being home alone while he’s out on business. (Hero business). If she’d just stop being so selfish and support him…

The drinks keep flowing. Clark lets his guard down. Eventually he goes to the head to drill a hole in the urinel. I pry open the special sinker and pour the ground kryptonite in his drink. He comes out of the restroom. Tipsy. He’s feeling relieved. And glad to have a friend to talk to. He grabs his drink and downs it. I smile. I order another round and say goodnight.

He just ingested 3/4 oz of Green Kryptonite. This game is over. RIP

Let’s hypothetically tear down the greatest heroes who ever lived…:skull_and_crossbones: Just for fun!

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How would you get the Kryptonite, though?


Step I: Get a sniper rifle.

Step II: Wait on rooftop across from GCPD Headquarters.

Step III: Profit.

Step IV: Hope the Joker doesn’t get to you.


Oh trust me, I’ll get to you, nobody kills my batboi heheheh

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You’ve found the one flaw in my plan…I bet if I told Lex Luthor my plan he’d give me some Kryptonite. Everyone knows he has some on hand. As to how I’d get Lex to give an unknown like me the time of day, let alone conspire with me to commit murder…that might be the hardest part. I’d have to do something that would gain his interest and make him take me seriously. But not make him angry. It would have to be something that wouldn’t land me in jail, either. Maybe I’d attend a press conference where Superman is being interviewed and lay into him. I’d go on about how destructive meta human combat is in our cities and it would better if they all went away…you know the speech. If I did that often enough…blogged about it often enough…Lex would know who I am. His staff would alert him when I sent him an email. He’d answer.

If I were a stealthy villain I could sneak into his office or his penthouse at night and approach him in some dramatic way. But this is me we’re talking about…


You: How would you defeat X?
Me: Be the protagonist.

There’s no need to overthink this.


Eat them.

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Does the hero always win?

Sounds like marvel’s ultimatum…

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I took notes

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Give them a cookie. Then I have defeated their desire to harm me. :partying_face:

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They’ll be coming back every week for another cookie. Only a matter of time til your jar is empty…

BRO WTF HAHAHAHAHHA That is the best thing I have ever read. Oh my lanta
:rofl: :joy:

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It is Superman. If he were in the woods he’d probably cut a tree down. Laser vision isn’t the only trick in his arsenal. It’s just the only one we ever talk about.

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