Uh, no. You don’t have to forgive people just because they are close to you and especially if they are family.
People can make mistakes and maybe you can forgive them to a certain extent but I think Jason has vaulted over a dozen+ lines and landed clearly in never to be trusted/forgiven territory.
I do think it’s healthy to let go of the anger you have towards a person for doing the things they do, but imo that is very different from forgiveness. You need to let go of the guilt and forgive yourself more than anything. You can’t spend your life trying to save someone that is actively hurting you, and not interested in changing. However, leaving yourself open to a different relationship down the road is totally on the table but that person really needs to demonstrate that they are actively trying to be different, not just making up for the things they did, but modifying their behavior to prevent it in the future.
They are responsible for their actions,
no matter how you were involved.
You are responsible for your actions,
no matter how they were involved.
This is a very important lesson I’m still working through in my daily life with my mom. She’s a saint in comparison to Mr. Todd of course, but it’s really hard to create boundaries with someone that keeps hurting you in the same ways. You don’t have to associate with your family members just because your related. Distance yourself from the people that hurt you, especially if you have tried to work with them and they keep doing the same things. It’s life changing once you can get over the guilt. My biggest obstacle was other people, and myself, telling me that “she’s your mom, you can’t do that to her, she’ll miss you”. But that’s the thing, she’s my mom, she shouldn’t be hurting me in the first place. She doesn’t earn the right to me just because she raised me. I can hold her accountable for her actions past and present but also put that baggage down for my own health. It’s been a long road and I hope anyone who reads this and is struggling with something similar in their life can connect with what I’m trying to convey. You have to take care of yourself, because you are the only one responsible for that.
If this resonated with you message me and let’s chat a bit. I’m no professional of course but I’m happy to share my experiences in the hopes that they might help you. Take care