Most of the Bat-fam are growing teenage boys. They will eat the horrors before Bat-mite has time to summon a dessert monster.
SHAZAM! has a problem, the JSA, the Teen Titans, the Titans, and the JL all want him on their team! He can’t join all these teams and protect Philly! What does he do without hurting feelings?
Shazam uses the Wisdom of Solomon and realizes that, while some may feel disappointed, ultimately honesty and self-care are the best policies. He writes each of the teams a formal letter declining their invitations but making sure to explain his reasoning, while also promising to be around should they need a helping, nagical-lightning-infused hand.
Barry has been invited to a very fancy, black-tie-only event by Iris. The problem? On the way he had to change clothes and stop an attack by Mirror Master, now Barry’s formal wear is all wrinkly from being compressed inside a tiny ring. What will he do?
He runs over to the nearest body of water and uses vibrations to heat it to boiling, using the steam to press his suit while he’s still wearing it.
Billy can’t catch a break this week. This time, he’s found Fawcett City under siege by his greatest enemies… TRADEMARK LAWYERS! It turns out that a certain comic publishing company has now introduced a character named Shazam, and now they’ve registered a trademark on that name too! How will he escape this pickle?
… A BRIEF INTERMISSION
Thank you @Behemoth, @Thebatman.7002, @JeepersItsTheJamags, @CaptThunder001, @SuperBlueGrodd, @AnonymousHQ, @TornadoSoup, @UnLagunas, and @TheBatgirlofNML for starting us off with some awesome pickles! I thought it would be a fun thread but it’s amazing to see it really popping off. I love everyone’s creativity and excitement for the DCU!
… NOW BACK TO THE SHOW!
Billy changes his name to Captain Thunder while Mr. Tawny reads up on copyright law and gets the name registered ASAP.
Brainiac 5 has been assigned a Legion squad of his own. The problem? It’s the Substitutes, finally promoted to full-member status. How will Brainy get out of babysitting–I mean, mentoring–these buffoons–I mean, rookies?
Martian Manhunter puts all Substitutes members into a hallucination training program. Once complete, the team will be fully trained - no need for a babysitter!
Metamorpho and Hal Jordon are in a fight - using their unique abilities to compete. With a half-powered ring, how will The Green Lantern win?