Fourth World Problems: Apokolips Allergies

Ever notice the complete lack of bad guys blowing their noses in comics? They must sneeze, right? I’ve always felt Kalibak had the temperament of someone with bad allergies.

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This is the kind of realism I can buy into

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I could go with a two page spread of Kalibak trying different allergy remedies

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This reminds me of that excellent scene from Mister Miracle where Kalibak takes out his reading glasses. I laughed so hard I dropped my iPad.

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Never noticed the lack of bad guy nose blowing, but Kalibak looks like he needs a bigass pair of Wrangler jeans. His shorts must chafe.

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I’m Kalibak. You may know me as a toady for evil Lord Darkseid, all hail Darkseid. But, just like you I enjoy the comfort and fit of Wrangler jeans. I prefer relaxed fit. But whether it’s boot cut or straight leg, buy for comfort and style. Buy Wrangler. All hail Darkseid.

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@mgstv
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
-This message brought to by Darkseid, courtesy of Wrangler Jeans, the official jeans of the Apokaliptan government.

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Wait…I wear Wrangler jeans. I’m not from Apokolips though. I mean, I’ve got a Mother Box, but that’s just a toy. I choose Wrangler jeans because they’re comfy for buckaroos like me and I’m a buckaroo like me.

That doesn’t mean I hail from the ****hole of the galaxy though. I’m definitely, definitely not from Apokolips. Nope.

as he thinks “…right? RIGHT?!” to himself

You know, this ultimately might explain my interest in Lashina. Maybe she was a babysitter? Nah, that’s crazy talk Marge.

sees Kalibak walk by in a pair of Wranglers Sweet jeans bro!

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  1. Awesome art. Really makes me curious to what other allergies can happen on apokolips.

  2. Those wrangler jeans comments. I couldn’t breath. I’ll never looks at wrangler jeans the same again.

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Do you think Desaad performs all the “scratch tests” on Apokolips?

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