In the mobile game DC Legends, you can select nearly 200 different DC characters on your mission to battle an evil that threatens the universe. But as heroes and villains fight side by side against a common threat, what do they say to each other?
Every day, I’m going to post a randomly chosen team of 4 characters. Your task is to write a brief conversation between 2, 3, or all 4 of the characters involved as unlikely allies. Think of it like the “party banter” in a video game, that changes depending on the team you bring with you.
Vandal: Your great great great grandparents tasted delicious.
Aquaman: You dare ear royalty. After this alliance is over my colossal squids will rue your intestines.
Reverse Flash: How can I use time travel to ruin Flash’s deductibles?
Killer Frost: How am I the least blood thirsty person here?
I really need to reinstall DC Legends
How’d you get them so strong?!
I’ve been playing almost every day for 6 years. My strongest guys are in the 8000s.
December 18, 2022, 5:09am
BOOSTER: Listen, Freddy, let me get you a meeting with my agent, you can make it big in the –
not listen to Booster, kid, otherwise you’ll end up like Tim here.
RED ROBIN: Thanks for bringing up a personal secret I specifically asked you never to share, that’s just great.
sigh Why couldn’t I have teamed up with the Trinity?
December 18, 2022, 7:04am
Red Robin- So why the Jr at the end?
Booster- Yeah, it’s not like Jamie or Red Robin are Blue Beetle Jr or Batman Jr.
Blue Beetle- Red Robin sure does act like Batman Jr
Red Robin- HEY! I do not.
Freddy- (In a Batman Voice) I do not.
Lex Luthor: Now…
[Hawkgirl smashes him in head with a mace 20 times].
Lex: As I was sayin…
[Hawkgirl smashes him in head 20 more times].
Black Lightning: Circe, quit turning Luthor into a guinea pig.
Harley Quinn, ooh, can you turn me into a hyena?
[Firestorm turns sword into pudding].
Deathstroke: Come on, that cost 1/3rd an assassination.
Superwoman: Who wants to lose a rib?
Dr. Fate: I will be back never [flies away].
Zatanna: Ecin odeeps!
What did you say? Was it sinful? If it was sinful I will wreak my divine vengeance upon y–
Swamp Thing: She…said…that…you…are…wearing…a…
Steel: SHE SAID NICE SPEEDO
Kate: “So Bruce…is Diana single?”
Bruce: “Don’t even think about it”
Kate: “That’s not a denial”
Diana: “Maybe I am”
Karen: fighting off an alien horde “NO THAT’S FINE, I DON’T NEED ANY HELP”
[Bats debate strategy for three hours].
Myself: I think that is everything planned out.
Batwoman: No, we still need to…
[Camera moves to Power Girl and Wonder Woman with a giant unconscious pile].
Wonder Woman: Should we tell them we already handled it?
Power Girl: Nah. I want to see how long until they notice.