The Lightning Saga: 5-issue crossover from 2007
Writers: Brad Meltzer (3 issues of Justice League of America), Geoff Johns (2 issues of Justice Society of America)
Rereading some of this Johns stuff that I didn’t understand at all the first time through.
This is… still pretty uninspiring on the whole. But, um, question: Why is Val alive? Dude died when Superboy was still with the Legion.
And I don’t even want to think about how Sensor Girl’s supposed to work with the state Supergirl’s timeline is in.
And then the whole meandering point of this was that someone was gonna die, but nobody dies. Like, assuming the lightning rod process works like this story thinks it does (it does not; they’re really very clear in the original story that it transfers one person’s life force to the other), Val could’ve just… told everybody he thought he could survive it, thus obviating the entire conflict. Also… don’t they need a body for this to work? Don’t they need someone who’s actually dead? Don’t they need to be on Korbal?
515.
Action Comics: 6 issues from 2007-2008
Writer: Geoff Johns
This is about the third separate version of “What’s up with the Batcave in the future” I’ve seen. All at least purporting to be in the original continuity, too.
Anyway, hey, it’s a worse Five Years Later! … God, I’m still baffled by how much later eras have made me miss 5YL. 5YL wasn’t even that good. People just keep raiding its bad ideas and reminding me of the better ones that go unused.
I love how future Earth is always like “You know, sure, the Legion has saved the universe approximately twenty billion times and been framed as evil about twice that number, but this time I really don’t trust them anymore.”
If this is going to insist on being exactly the original continuity, I’m going to insist on nitpicking every minor point. So: I thought the original rocket-shaped Legion clubhouse was destroyed? Isn’t that why they moved the first time?
Man, it is so weird that Johns was just… arbitrarily doing all of this while the Threeboot was still running. Like, I guess if you trace it back to Starman joining the Legion, Threeboot must’ve been only a year or so old when he started. Like, that’s just… really rude.
Oh no! The Super-Moby Dick of Space got to Polar Boy, too! Is no one’s right arm safe?!
Oh, and Brainy’s gone evil again. That’s… not really surprising.
“But Jamags! Isn’t he just pretending to be a warmongering dictator to fool the bad guys?”
It’s Brainiac 5. How can you tell the difference?
While it’s weird that Yera is just suddenly a Legionnaire now, it’s also weird that Gim is this surprised by it. They, uh, met because she was doing a fairly effective job of impersonating Shrinking Violet for an extended period of time?
I will say, even the first time I read this, I thought the issue with the Subs was incredible; I now slightly resent the Supers poaching Subs like Polar Boy (which is on Levitz) and Night Girl (which is Johns’ fault) when the Subs are perfect just the way they are, but it’s still a standout issue in an annoying arc.
521.
Legion of Super-Heroes: 14 issues from 2008-2009
Writers: Jim Shooter (13 issues), “Justin Thyme” (1 issue)
This “Okay, KK” joke about Karate Kid wouldn’t be funny even if it didn’t keep causing characters to say “KKK.”
This is random, but is there a reason “florg” has suddenly replace “sprock” as default fake profanity? And a bunch of zorks and zizzes and other random stuff that sounds even goofier than the established goofy stuff.
In the obligatory “rejected candidates” montage, Spy actually seems sort of useful? A bit redundant with Saturn Girl, but heightened senses and ESP aren’t nothing.
Every single version of Saturn Girl: “I don’t mess around in people’s heads without permission.”
Also every single version of Saturn Girl, five minutes later: “I’m sorry I messed around in your head without permission, but I had no choice!”
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Shooter has at least stopped doing all the actively annoying things that Waid was. This… feels like an improvement, actually. The plot’s even vaguely interesting (at least in terms of the mystery of the destroyers, but the answers get less interesting as they come out). I could do without some of the increasingly frequent random shipping interludes, though; I’m sure someone can get through a run without a nonsensical Imra ship at some point, but I haven’t seen it in a while.
I love watching Legion writers argue with each other about whether Cham can duplicate properties of things he shapeshifts into or not. Some are like “no, he only changes shape and color, not his actual physical composition,” some seem to just forget that part and have him become a lightning beast and actually shoot lightning or whatever, and here’s Shooter all like “Actually, he 100% can duplicate physical/biochemical properties and don’t you forget it.”
I was at least expecting Shooter to not continue character-assassinating poor Jeckie; ouch. Meanwhile, Countdown actually-assassinates Val. And for that matter, the Fatal Five doesn’t seem to even exist in this timeline. Not a good time to be a Shooter creation.
Holy ■■■■, Brainy just cut off Cham’s arm to look at something he shapeshifted it into. There had to have been a less… that way to do that.
Oh, so Sizzle has a flashy power but not one that works without an outside source to charge her up? Would that make her… all sizzle, no steak?
535.
Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds: 5 issues from 2008-2009
Writer: Geoff Johns
Wait, the whole Legion of Super-Villains was somehow following Superboy Prime the whole time? What?
How did McCauley know that Brande would be at the UP hearing in order to assassinate him?
… I just realized. Yera didn’t have hair before, did she? I mean, she did in that Action Comics arc, but not back in the ‘80s. Where’d it come from? I will not stop nitpicking.
And, um, wow, RIP Glorith, Dragonmage, and Evillo, I guess. Way to… be brutally killed off-panel by Mordru? I didn’t really like Glorith, care about Dragonmange, or know much about Evillo (the self-parodic Matter-Eater Lad subplots from Five Years Later notwithstanding), but it’s a little harsh when they could’ve just… not?
Garth throwing a tantrum about Rokk always getting to be in charge is weird because… this is the Legion that had him in charge the least? Imra had long stints, and the one time Garth was leader, he didn’t like it or want to do it again.
Oh, sorry. I must be thinking of in-character Garth. I haven’t seen that guy since he turned out to be Proty.
So Reboot-Garth-in-Element-Lad’s-body got turned into regular-reboot-Garth, while Threeboot Jan also got killed. Meanwhile, Jan Classic is MIA. What have you got against Element Lad, Johns? Not as much as Abnett and Lanning did, I don’t think.
And oh, god, no, I’m going to have to continue putting up with Gates. They went to so much trouble to make it possible to never see him again, too.
540.
